A Quick Rant on Roommates

Alright. Hold up. Lemme just take a quick minute and tell you about this thing.

At this moment, I am taking a few courses about sex, dynamics, and mechanical behavior about materials... whilst living in a house with a few people.

Now, now. I don't want to scare you off about roommates or housemates or living with strangers.
But sometimes you're not so damn lucky and you want to blow the head off of one... just like I want to do right now.

I have posted the unwritten rules of college roommates in the past on another blog. Maybe, I should pull up part one and part two and shove them in his face because obviously he is not getting it.

Really.

How many times do I have to walk in...
with the tv on?
with the lights on?
with the lights on during the day?
with no one around with both the tv and lights on?
wake up to your shit music?
wake up to your shit rifts?
wake up to your struggling and straining voice?
fail to fall asleep because the bass on MY surround system is echoing in MY room because of YOU?
fail to fall asleep because you're having some sort of one man concert at 2 AM?
deal with your nosey ass?
be questioned like I'm in an interrogation office interrogated by a criminology team?

Shit dude. My business is my business.

If I want to walk outside of the house at 2 AM because someone wants to give me a gift, then so be it.
But why dafuq you gotta follow me out of the house like you need to know?

Cause honestly, you don't.
Plus I am not your mom. Take care of your responsibilities. Like don't ask me how much your rent is that you agreed to pay. Boy, I already have trouble remembering my own shit, let alone do I have to give 3 fucks about your shit? No.

You are the rudest, most obnoxious roommate I've EVER had to deal with.
And trust me, I've had plenty of housemates, roommates, living people with.

Oh dear.

I've officially come to hate Silent Night and Happy Birthday... Thanks to you.
And HOW DOES ONE RUIN CHRISTMAS SONGS AND  THE BIRTHDAY SONG.
It's like annihilating a child.
Maybe not a child, maybe a baby.
You cannot ruin the innocence of those precious holidays.
Yes, let's refer to them as holidays because I'm not religious and I celebrate that business.


Anyways, let me just sit back a minute and dig into my archives of unspoken roommate rules.
Really, I should.
And I'll add all your shit things to it.

By the way, when you cook ramen, it's best if you don't forget about that shit or just leave it sitting cause it turns to mush and looks like you're eating diarrhea noodles.

Ok.

Homie K OUT.