Bullying.

Bullying is a very sensitive subject to many.

Everyone understands the idea of bullying. Be it, repeated name calling, picking on someone, teasing someone in a hurtful manner, doing anything to hurt someone else is an act of bullying.

However, bullying isn't just physical. It can also occur verbally. And while others believe "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me...," the truth is, sometimes the scars and bruises from sticks and stones may heal but mentally the words said, the blows felt, the mental pain will forever leave a sting in the heart and mind of that person.

I can't say that I'm not a bully. I say things in a sarcastic manner that does hurt people's feelings... even if I don't mean to hurt someone. Unintentionally, the words I do say sometimes hurt other's. And that is something I know about myself. It is precisely why I tried to curb and handle my anger. My words get the best of me sometimes. And in those moments of anger, I don't mean it... but those words sure do sting. Like hell.

But then there's the people who believe they aren't bullies and say things purposely to hurt someone. They say things knowing it will provoke a reaction from others. Provoking some type of reaction from someone using words in a negative manner is a type of bullying. And usually, those hurt the most.

Saying words intentionally shouldn't be used to provoke reactions.

It's just one of those things people haven't learned to understand or fail to comprehend. Some are just plain ignorant about it. No matter what, words can be hurtful - and the pain that accompanies it can be longer lasting than physical pain. Both physical and verbal pain attribute to mental exhaustion. This mental exhaustion drives people to sometimes self harm. There really isn't an "easy way out."

Being a bully is being a bully. And while I can apologize for how my blunt and sarcastic demeanor can come off as rude and mean, those who intentionally say stuff to hurt other's can honestly go fuck themselves over because accidental quips are EXTREMELY different than intentional ones.

So right now while my sister continues to degrade my being with her words, I will continue to go on. I'll tell her to "fuck off," and become in trouble for using such language. I'll tell my mom how it is to have to listen to her talk to me like that, and I will hear how I'm being such a brat for not wanting to stand down.

I will not stand down to bullies.

I will continue to be rebuked for my harsh and inappropriate language.

I will continue to hear the words about how I am such a brat for not wanting to deal with someone's bullshit or replying with a sarcastic quip. (Because text cannot interpret sarcasm.)

And I will continue to listen to how I can't do anything right with my life, how big of a disappointment I am since I haven't finished school, and how I cannot contribute to financial situations because I quit my job after my mom asked me to so I can focus on school but I still suck because I can't help pay for anything but stay in more than $25,000 in debt  (and still incurring) for trying to obtain a degree that's only making me more depressed than happy as days go by only to have to sit there and handle it.


If there's something I do know and understand how to handle on my own without feeling like complete, utter shit, it's cutting off toxic relationships from trying to hanker a control of my life. AKA good riddance to your filthy self until I feel like talking to your bitchasses again because fuck you I can deal with not talking to stupid, pretentious fucks for all eternity.