Things I Should've Said Tonight

Maybe I should do this regularly. Quite often, I find myself in some situations where I actually do bite my tongue and hold my words. But when I do sometimes I wish I just said it rather than holding it in. In this society, there may not always be a time and place for everything... but there is a time when holding your tongue is the "mature" thing to do.

Now I put "mature" in quotes because it's all about a personal perspective. To bite one's tongue, roll with the punches, ignore the haters... whatever. I don't know (half-sy sort of don't care...)

You know, I don't always make the best decisions. Life is to be lived and in college, some kids really hold to that. If you met me two years ago, I barely made it through the week sober. If you saw me last year, you wouldn't think I drank nearly as much as a I actually have.

In all honesty, I am a self-proclaimed alcoholic socialite. I drink on occasion, off occasion, when I feel like it, when I don't, when I'm uncomfortable, when I'm comfortable, and I admit, sometimes when I'm set as DD, a shot or two is my limit because let's face it, drinking and driving is a terrible behavior that should never be done.

And then I wait like 3 more hours and take care of the ass-shit throwing their guts up or passed out on the couch just so I have an excuse so another bottle or spout doesn't come my way... all the while I am again, guzzling a water bottle.

So here it is, on a Monday night, with a class at 8AM.

Things I Should've Said Tonight (if I didn't already yell it out loud):

1. Fuck you
2. I don't fucking care what you think.
3. You're a prick.
4. It's okay that you forgot my name but right now I just don't give a fuck about you.
5. Have fun, live a little.
6. Your drugs are pungent.
7. I know you're gay and I'm cool with that so please don't get mad when I tell a guy (who is also gay) that he wants a dick in his mouth. Face it, we could all use one.
8. No, I'm not lesbian.
9. Why the fuck are you touching me.
10. Why the fuck are you talking to me.
11. Girl, you are gonna be a shitshow in 5 minutes... but I don't care.
12. Girl, are you okay cause you are borderline shitshow and I do actually care.
13. Boob sweat is one of the filthiest feelings ever. But don't scoop me unless you want your dick dunked through your balls.
14. In Joe's words... "LET ME BE GREAT."
15. You need to put on some clothes. I do not appreciate seeing your junk all over the place. Wrap it up.
16. I'm not really drunk. I just hate boob sweat and people think I'm drunk so there. *nipple pinch*
17. I need like 5 more shots to actually be drunk right now. And I fucking hate boob sweat.
18. You're a bitch! (with a smile on my face.)
19. Just because your dick was in my mouth once doesn't mean I want to keep seeing it.

and I probably said this once or twice tonight, but fuck:

20. Shit happens.


p.s. I may have happened to leave the party early... but it's still going... it's "only" 2 AM.... well fuck.

I am hungover.

In a drunken habit, I only sleep for 5 - 6 hours and end up waking up way earlier than I do on most days.

And that is exactly what happened this morning when I passed out before midnight after upchucking my entire dinner and whatever remnants was still left in my tummy not only in the toilet and the kitchen sink. (And I do apologize to my awesome housemates who took care of my ass and my mess...)

But this morning when I woke up, I was still slightly drunk and feeling like complete utter shit. It hit me. I was going to be hung-thefuck-over.

I crawled my way out of bed to the bathroom and sat there for a good minute thinking I was going to throw up. And I did.

And all I could think was.... "welllll fuck."

So I went through my ways of getting rid of morning after drunkenness.

1. Get a glass of water - I could barely get my ass to the bathroom. Getting to the kitchen was a nightmare I did not like. And so I got my ass up. Stumbled my way into the kitchen. Struggled a lot. Struggled s'more. And the struggle just kept struggling.
2. Taking a nice, hot shower. This is where it proceeded to go all wrong. Alllll wrong. I was in the shower. And it wasn't working. Usually I could feel the drunken film lift off and I'd be good to go. It wasn't happening. I wanted to cry.
3. Food.

Instead, I sat in the fucking shower. Struggling to wash my hair and bits. It was just a mess.
I ended up going back to bed for a few hours.

Woke up. HUNG- THEFUCK- OVER.

And it has been more than 10 hours.
And I am still hung the fuck over.


You know how it feels like having to walk to school? The struggle is damn real. It was a gloomy day and sunglasses did not help.
My head was pounding. I could barely carry my backpack. And just walking down the  street seemed like the worst idea ever.

But I had class and I was determined to go.
My first class made me look uninterested as I tried to keep my head up by propping it on my arm.
My professor's words? "I know this is boring but it's important." It wasn't boring. I'm just hungover.
And then the rain came... I had 10 minutes to get to the other fucking side of campus in the rain. And stairs were just a big no.
My second class is about human sexuality... and today we had to look at vaginas. And me, being a girl who likes dick and rarely even looks at her own vagina..... (I did once when I read this book by gURL.com... And apparently every girl needs to get acquainted with her vag.) ...  I struggled to hold down a fat sandwich my friend and I had bought this morning as I stared into the curvatures of the woman bits. The room didn't help either as it was old, musty and smelled like ass because of the rain and people. The blown up vagina on the screen was just no.

And then the best part came.
A video about fucking woman circumcision.
And that's where I wanted to die.

And I felt even more sick. My head was still pounding despite my 600mg dosage of ibuprofen.
As I write, I'm still hungover.
My face hurts because I slammed the side of my face into the wall.
It's 10 at night.
And I'm getting distracted.
And I'm probably gonna beat the living shit out of my laptop because the light hurts my head still.

FUCK HANGOVERS.
Enjoy this shitty blog post because my incompetent ass cannot function or doing anything properly.






PS. Tacos and then drinking is the worst possible combination ever.